you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
