Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
