I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
