There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
