dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
