nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
