White coat. Heels.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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