Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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