i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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