Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
