some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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