yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
