when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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