Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
