I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
