all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
