Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
