i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Found the puke drawer
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Randomize
