He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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