do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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