May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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