Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
