Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
