I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
