threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
