life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
