It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
