the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
