I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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