oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
