Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
