1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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