I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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