Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
