I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
