Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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