theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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