he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize