she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
