you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
