My pussy is not your playground.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
