thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
