her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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