oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize