Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
