Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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