So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Couch. On fire.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
