And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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