I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
