At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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