is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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