How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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