everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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