I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
