I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
