Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
When are your genitals available?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
