I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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