Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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