I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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