Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
worst night to have a conscience
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
